Thirty-one-year-old Dana Commandatore claims she has never been the kind of woman men immediately notice. But one night last year, while at a singles bar with friends, she couldn't keep the opposite sex away. "Guys were coming up to me and getting very close, and I was like, 'Wow!'"
The New York City office manager, now in a committed relationship with one of the men she met that night, credits her ability to attract him that evening to a costly potion ($60 for a tenth of an ounce) called Falling in Love. Its manufacturer, Philosophy cosmetics, claims the concoction is laced with pheromones, those odorless airborne molecules, synthesized from human chemical secretions, that are purported to boost attractiveness. (And yes, it's available at a department store near you.)

Bunk? Sniff if you will. Many do. But whether one believes Commandatore is hopelessly susceptible or remarkably savvy, one thing is clear: New research in the field of love and attraction shows that
romance--long the domain of poets, philosophers and five-hankie movies--may be ruled as much by molecules as it is by emotion. In fact, scientists now believe that the impulse that drives us to mate, marry and remain monogamous is not a result of mere social convention: It is also a complex mix of naturally occurring chemicals and hormones--Cupid's elixirs, if you will--that helps guide us through life's most important decision. That physiological component, say the researchers, may help explain some of love's mysteries: why opposites attract, why so many seemingly mismatched couples succeed, why we stick together with partners through even the worst of times.

"When you fall in love or in lust, it isn't merely an emotional event," says Theresa Crenshaw, M.D., the Masters and Johnson-trained author of The Alchemy of Love and Lust. "Your body's hormones, each with unique contributions, get involved too."

Free will, of course, can't be discounted. If you like redheads, you like redheads. If you're a sucker for a beautiful voice, the man who croons "Night and Day" to you has an edge. But doctors have long known that even that most primal of impulses, lust--the feeling that propels the lonely out the door in search of love--has a chemical basis. It is testosterone, the hormone that creates basic sexual desire in men and women.

Researchers are now concentrating on what happens after one walks out the door and into a wide world of romantic opportunity. What physical attributes, outside the obvious, attract? What role do pheromones play? When do other, more potent brain chemicals begin to kick in? The last decade's discoveries in neuroscience let researchers predict--even, for the first time, control, albeit in a limited way--what was once thought uncontrollable: love. "We are at the dawn of a new beginning, where people may soon never have to suffer the pain of love's slings and arrows," such as rejection, difficulty in bonding and attachment disorders, says James H. Fallon, professor of anatomy and neurobiology at the University of California, Irvine, College of Medicine. In 10 years, maybe less, he says, there could be brain chemical nasal sprays to enhance love between a couple. "We're very close. And that's not just happy talk...we're like giddy kids at the possibilities."

Indeed, what scientists believe they already know about matters of the heart is remarkable. To illustrate their findings, follow the story of Mike, a fictional Everyman, as he falls in love. One night, Mike, single, nervously arrives at a party, gets a drink, then scans the room. Science tells us that, unconsciously, he is already noting the size and symmetry of the facial bones of the women around him (a recent study by University of New Mexico biologists found that symmetrical bone structure is prized more than anything because it suggests a lack of undesirable genetic mutations). He also studies the women's curves, as research shows that men prefer waists to be 60-80 percent the size of hips, an indicator, however crude, of health and fertility. (Women, for their part, seek men with slightly feminized faces--think Leonardo DiCaprio--because they appear warmer, kinder and more trustworthy.) "Judging beauty has a strong evolutionary component," says University of Texas at Austin professor of psychology Devendra Singh. "You're looking at another person and figuring out whether you want your children to carry that person's genes."